Why Do People Use Social Media As A Diary?
Diary
/ˈdʌɪəri/
noun
a book in which one keeps a daily record of events and experiences.
How many of you remember the earlier days of the internet, before social media reshaped the digital landscape forever, when the first rule of online safety was to never share personal details?
Don’t use your real name.
Never share your age or location.
Don’t publish pictures of yourself.
I harbor a sense of nostalgia for those days when everything was so innocent, surfing the web was something fun and came with no societal expectations. Nowadays, people lose their mind when I tell them I don’t use my Facebook account, and sending me a friend request is pointless because I won’t interact with them on that platform. “Why is your profile picture blank?” is the first reaction I usually receive. Uno reverse card, why is your profile photo a picture of your small child who cannot comprehend the consequences of their entire upbringing being publicly recorded for an online audience?
Everyone has their own reasoning for using social media. At some point over the last decade it became the norm to have an online presence on most major platforms. People gladly share identifying details and willingly update the world of their whereabouts, thoughts, struggles and wins in life.
What prompted me to write this is that since the beginning of this year I’ve been quietly observing a small YouTube channel transform into a disturbing platform of oversharing and drama. I won’t point out that person because I value their privacy more than they seemingly do. The worrying part is that I don’t want to know about any of what they went through. Nobody online needed to know the amount of personal details and self-imposed doxing that was inflicted. Yet now I’m aware and this story is unfortunately ingrained in my psyche. Subscribing to that channel I never expected to have videos detailing a failing marriage, alleged abuse and cheating and deliberately recorded, edited and published mental breakdowns. Naturally, I removed that channel from my subscription list and told the platform to stop recommending anything by that person, as their content went from innocent, easygoing stuff to triggering trauma dumping without any foreshadowing. But it’s out there for people to watch and observe something that would better suit a journal or therapist session. And it’s still ongoing. Because it generates views (which equals money). What is the cost of deliberately harming your mental health?
What is the cost of turning your suffering into a spectacle?
What is up with people oversharing online?
What is it about social media platforms that makes people feel safe enough to publish thing they wouldn’t discuss with people in real life?
I can only assume many who overshare their most personal experiences online do so while going through difficult times. When they don’t have a safety network in real life, the second best place to vent and seek comfort is the internet. People thrive in communities and social media gives anyone an easy way to seek out like-minded people. In real life you are limited by your surroundings; living in a smaller town, not subscribing to local traditions and norms, social status and prejudice are only a few factors that can make finding your tribe a difficult task. Socializing can be especially daunting for marginalized groups and neurodivergent people, whereas on the internet you can just look up a hashtag, group or forum and boom! you’ve found hundreds of people who think, feel and share the same interests as you.
No wonder we are so lonely. No wonder so many seek refuge online.
Judging people for how they meet their social needs is not what this is about. Even writing this is a way for me to welcome some form of communication with a world beyond my immediate vicinity. However, too many people forget that once you’ve put something online, it takes up a life of its own. And as communities grow larger, so do opinions, oftentimes critical, sometimes unfortunately downright harmful. As I publish this post today, I assume responsibility of what I’m putting out there, fully aware that at some point in time someone might find something malicious about what I wrote and regardless of my intentions, they can find ways to make my online experience unpleasant or unsafe.
We should all know less about each other
All social media apps advertise as tools for connecting people. Oftentimes though, they end up doing exactly the opposite — polarizing, agitating, painting nuanced topics black & white.
That’s why I’m on an endless crusade to advocate for journaling. A diary used to be something private, we used to get told to never publish our irl details, but here we are, reading invasive shower thoughts and essay-lenght confessions on things that don’t demand an audience. Instead of writing that angry text (or post) write it down in a journal. Pour out everything on paper, tear it up, set it on fire, get it out there.
There’s no need to list all the potential threats of putting too much identifying information out there. Rightfully there’s major concern for the privacy of younger people, especially teenagers and children who have access to read and publish content online and the implications of growing up on social media. My anecdotal observations also lead me to believe it’s also particularly harmful to older generations, who are likely to be less careful and educated on navigating online spaces. It’s nearly impossible to stop my elderly grandma from clicking on bot messages she gets in Facebook messenger when they come from a familiar account. And how many times have I had to explain that the site she’s trying to buy new ergonomic insoles from has all the telltale signs of a scam. The amount of information about themselves and their families elders are willing to share online is a major safety concern. I often notice their accounts are almost always fully public and is they hardly ever use two-factor authentication.
We can all benefit from spending less time online, instead working on finding better methods of handling our emotions and social struggles. The evolution of the internet from its early days of anonymity to the current era of relentless pursuit of online attention has made it nearly impossible to casually browse social media. We’re all one doomscroll away from accidentally learning someone’s condensed memoir in TikTok format.
Avoid turning your personal suffering or joys into a public spectacle. No, you don’t need to be a mysterious enigma that never interacts with their followers (though that’s kind of cool). There’s a fine line between keeping it real and posting too much of what nobody is entitled to know. Momentarily it can attract sympathy and support, but there’s also great chance you’ll draw in people who are thirsty for gossip and drama.
The desire for connection and community in an increasingly isolated world is understandable, and the internet has provided solace for many. That being said, we must also recognize that once we share our lives online, we relinquish control over our narratives, exposing ourselves to potential harm and unrequited criticism, which can further cause us to spiral. Practice safeguarding your privacy and exercise more discretion in your online interactions.
Thanks for reading!
This post is part of my 45-Day Writing Challenge on Medium | Day 19
Check out more of my writing on Medium! 💌
Although sparingly, I actually use social media — you can find me on Instagram ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
